In my younger years, I immersed myself in the melodic sounds of heavy metal.
As I've grown a bit older, I've developed an appreciation for the primal and profound flavours of
blues and rock, much like many others who, after experiencing life's sweet and bitter moments,
discover these deep tastes.
At one point, I likely owned around 2,000 vinyl records and
collected approximately a thousand compact discs.
Now, they've all vanished somewhere, and I find myself listening and watching through YouTube.
Despite seeking solace, it seems I still haven't found a sense of peace and serenity.
The world, to me, has always been a collision or harmony of four groups:
those with wealth and influence
(whether they are malevolent or, at least, unwittingly crushing others, I'm not sure),
those misled by them, those who stand aside and observe,
and those pursuing a somewhat compassionate world.
I'm unsure of my place, but I don't appear to belong to the first group, at least.
It feels like I live differently each time among the second, third, and fourth categories.
Depending on how much of life's pathos one has felt, I now somewhat understand
whether the gentle breeze passing by or the raindrops on my face can evoke excitement.
In the past, there were moments when I couldn't contain my anger,
leading to harm inflicted upon friends, family, and even those I had never met.
Occasionally, when I recall those scenes, I find myself feeling a sense of shame.
I am also learning different ways to express such emotions.
I once worked diligently at companies with cutting-edge technology,
but now I am creating something with very primitive analog technology.
Reflecting on my secondary school days,
I remember reading and creating books related to effects pedals that I struggled to obtain.
I don't have much craving for cars, houses, or food.
While I'm not extremely poor and don't have a lot of wealth,
I enjoyed various jobs and hobbies in my youth, occasionally indulging in escapades.
Currently, I find no greater joy than the relationships where hearts and words align.
Another aspect is the pursuit of the best sound, taking pride in it.
Even if it means staying up for a few nights, it doesn't tire me.
Of course, after that, my body is tired for a day or two.
Still, the small excitement and satisfaction of having found something seem to last for weeks.
If I can continue doing this until I die,
without needing long holidays or spending a comfortable retirement like others, I will be happy.
Even if I can no longer continue,
just witnessing someone taking care of the 'offspring' I've created would bring happiness.
If I can make myself and others happy through music and technology, what else do I need?
However, that doesn't mean I will turn a blind eye to the world, society, and humanity.
Like Stephane Hessel, who urged to be outraged,
I may not have lived that way and may not in the future,
but I will strive to have a warm rationality in my mindset
and express it through my humble technical skills.
Rock makes Life!